Discover how to create your own flexible and compassionate self-care plan
What Is Self-Care?
What is self-care? Is it a ten-step Koren skincare routine, eating a healthy meal, or taking up running? Well, in reality, it can be all or none of these things, depending on your needs and perspectives as a person.
In this section, we’ll take a look at what self-care is and what it isn’t, as well as where the concept comes from. Then later in this article, we’ll examine how to improve your current self-care plan or start one from scratch with our step-by-step guide to creating a self-care plan.

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Where the concept of self-care comes from
First of all, while you may have come across it on social media, the term self-care is rooted in the field of health care and nursing in particular. Within the field of nursing, self-care is understood to be a way of either managing a chronic illness or maintaining overall health. In essence, it’s the things you do to keep yourself as healthy as possible.
Self-care is more than exercise and a good diet
However, it is crucial to note that self-care is much more than just taking care of our physical health. Instead, it’s about doing things that take care of our psychological, mental and emotional health as well.
Additionally, self-care is not only about doing behaviours that are good for you, as this can become taxing, and feel as if you are just adding more to-do tasks to your already full daily list. To avoid this, experts recommend that you choose at least some things that you look forward to, or enjoy for self-care.
Self-care, attitude and goals
When it comes to self help it’s also important to remember that your attitude to certain behaviours will play a role. For example, you may take up outdoor swimming as a form of self-care, which at first can be quite challenging at the moment. However, because it allows you to achieve your goals of spending more time outside, working on your fitness, and building resilience, you can count it as a self-care act.
Indeed, while many experts highlight that self-care activities should be enjoyable ones, it is also true that some may not be pleasurable at the moment. For instance, cleaning your house, going to the dentist, or tearing yourself away from social media to get an easy night may all feel hard as you do them, yet play into your greater health and well-being in the long term.
Self-care is about balance
With that in mind, we can argue that when defining self it’s best to use a combination of both activities that provide you with short-term/immediate enjoyment, as well as ones that while not being enjoyable in the moment contribute to your overall health and well being. Indeed, it can be said that it is in this balance that true self-help exists.
How to Start or Improve Your Self-Care
Now we know more about what self-help is, we can take a look at how to create a plan that integrates self-care into our daily lives.
The benefits of a self-care plan
The good news is that by coming up with and acting on such a plan we can gain a wealth of benefits in our lives from improved physical health, to better mental health, personal relationships, and productivity. Good self-care can even make your life more meaningful and increase how happy and content you feel.
Another good thing about a self-help plan is that it meets you where you are. This means that whether you already have some self-care practices in place, or you need to start from scratch a self-care plan can help you reap the benefits above, and achieve your self-care goals.
A Step By Step Guide To Creating A Personalised Self-Care Plan
- Evaluate your current situation
This first step is all about writing an inventory of your current coping mechanisms and getting honest. Brutally honest! Don’t worry no one else needs to see your inventory and the more honest you can be the better tailored your self-care plan will come out.

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To complete your inventory, split your paper into four boxes. In the first box write down any positive habits that provide self-care such as
- engaging in a hobby you enjoy,
- or seeing friends.
In the second box record any positive coping strategy you have for when things get tough. For example:
- I reach out to friends when I’m sad
- I go for a walk when I feel stressed
Now you have your positive habits and strategies recorded, it’s time to look at any negative coping strategies or habits you may have and record them in the third and fourth boxes.
2. What do you need & value?
The next step is to identify your self-care needs. This entails thinking about what you value most in your regular daily life and making a list of those things. For example, you may value:
- Family
- Fun
- Joy
- Creativity
- Authenticity
- Fitness
- Nourishment
Often when we complete this self-care inventory we find that there are things in our lives we value, but do not prioritise in our day-to-day life. It is these things we can take forward and work on for better self-care.

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3. Write down practices that support your needs
Once you have your needs outlined, it’s time to decide how to make these a practical part of your day-to-day life. Happily, it’s easy to do this as all you need to do is look at the value you want more of in your life and decide on a practical action you can do that will express it.
For example, if you need more fun in your life, then consider what activities you find fun. For some people this may be playing video games, for others, it will be doing a beloved hobby, and yet for others still it will be meeting with friends or family.
4. Fit them into your schedule
Now it’s time to schedule these practical expressions of our values into a diary so we ensure we get plenty of self-care. Unfortunately, this is where many people can struggle as most of us already have busy schedules as it is!

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However, it can help to remember the overall benefits of self-care here, improvements in your mental and physical health, a boost in productivity, as well as an increased sense of meaning and happiness in your life. It can also help remind you that self-care is not selfish, but a vital part of showing yourself compassion and kindness.
A good way to approach this is to start small and make failure impossible. This means that rather than overwhelming yourself by trying to do everything at once, pick one type of self-care to schedule into your diary and commit to doing that. It doesn’t have to be anything major like going for a long-distance run, instead if you value moving your body more, why not head out for a 10-minute walk, or put the radio on and dance around your kitchen for a bit? Then you can slowly grow the types and intensity of your self-care activities you do, building on the boost and motivation that small wins provide you.
5. Clear those barriers to success
First of all, remember that your needs are now always the same. Try and think of yourself as a plant that needs certain things at certain times to thrive, like sunlight, water, and tending. This can help you stay flexible with your self-care practices and not end up feeling bad about yourself when you don’t do everything on your list, every day or week (depending on how you have scheduled them)
Also, now is a good time to look at any of those negative habits and maladaptive coping mechanisms that have been holding you back from achieving your goal of better health and wellbeing.
Work on them one at a time, and try replacing a bad habit with a positive self-care method. For example, instead of spending the evening doom scrolling your phone, how about taking up hobbies like crochet while you watch your favourite show on TV?
Conclusion: Self Care Is Not Selfish!
In summary, remember that self-care is not selfish!
- Self-care is about balancing activities that provide immediate enjoyment and improve health and well-being over the long term.
- To start a self-care plan, or improve what you already have in place, it can help to identify your needs and values, and then find practical ways to live in line with these.
- A good self-care plan should be flexible, and adjust with your needs, as well as providing compassion for when things do not go as planned.
Self Care Is Not Selfish! Here’s Why:
Self-care is a buzzword on social media right now! But what does self-care mean, how can it positively impact your life, how can you practise it, and is it selfish to practise self-care? Find out the answer to these questions and more in this insightful self-care in this video.
What is self-care?
Self-care is the act of optimising your physical and mental well-being. It’s about doing things to be your happiest and healthiest self.
What are the benefits of self-care?
Self-care offers plenty of benefits including improved physical and mental health, less stress, better relationships, and enhanced productivity.
How can you practise self-care?
To practise self-care, it’s best to use a self-care plan. To do this you’ll want to look at the things you need and value in life.
Then you’ll want to look at practical positive ways to enact these values in your regular life and fit these into your schedule on a daily, weekly, or monthly basis.
Remember self-care practices involve healthy coping mechanisms and can offer joy in the moment, or on completion.
Is it selfish to practise self-care?
No, self-care offers many benefits for those around you including better interpersonal relationships, improved productivity, and reduced healthcare costs. It is never selfish to engage in self-care!
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